Fitting farewells…the difference between a funeral and a memorial
When someone we love dies we feel overwhelmed with grief but still have important decisions to make. Which is right for us a funeral or a memorial? Families often ask what the difference is. Navigating the choice should be made with compassion and care.
What is a funeral? A funeral is normally held quite quickly after someone passes away, often within a week. A key part of a funeral is that the body or ashes are present at the ceremony. A cremation or burial may precede or follow the service. Funerals often take place at a funeral home, a church or chapel, a family home or a cemetery or crematorium.
Funerals include eulogies, readings, music, rituals and a chance for loved ones to pay their respects.
What is a memorial? A memorial is held after a person has been buried or cremated and is sometimes held days, weeks, or even months later. Because there is no body or casket at the service, it can be held almost anywhere and allows for more flexibility in planning. Ashes of the loved one who has passed away maybe at the service. Memorial are often held in gardens, parks, community halls, clubs, homes, beaches or even favourite cafes or vineyards!
Memorials give a bit more time and space to plan more personalised tributes. The tone can be relaxed, solemn or light-hearted.
Which one is right for you? There is no right or wrong! It’s what feels right for you, your family and the wishes of your loved one.
Choose a funeral if:
You want a traditional ceremony with the body or ashes present
Cultural or religous customs need a timely or quick farewell
You’d prefer a shorter timeframe to gather and grieve
Choose a memorial if:
You want more time to plan a personalised service
You’d like a less formal or more creative approach
You want to involve a wider group of family and friends, or they are travelling from afar
The loved one who has died expressed a wish for a non-traditional farewell
Every goodbye deserves to be made with love.